Why You Should Never Be Too Nice
So, you’re a nice person. You always say please and thank you, hold doors open for strangers, and go out of your way to help others whenever possible. Sounds like a wonderful human being many would kill to have around!
This world could do with a few more kindhearted people, if you ask me. With so much negativity and stress out there, being nice can go a long way in making someone’s day.
But, is there such a thing as being too nice? Is there a point at which your benevolence can actually become a hindrance? Surprisingly, yes, there is.
9 reasons why you shouldn’t be too nice
1. Being too nice can make you a pushover
If you’re always willing to bend over backward and accommodate everyone else’s needs at the expense of your own, people may start to take advantage of you. People often feel like they can walk all over those who are too kind.
That’s because kindness is often seen as weakness. And if someone seems weak, sooner or later, whether intentionally or not, people are going to take advantage of them.
2. You’ll never learn to say “no” if you’re too nice
Being able to politely decline things is important in life. But when we’re overly trying not to hurt someone’s feelings, we end up saying “yes” to things we don’t really want to do. Over time, it can lead to burnout and resentment.
3. Too much kindness may cause people not to trust you
It may seem counter-intuitive but excessive niceness can make people question your motives, honesty or even sanity for agreeing with everything they say or asking nothing of them.
People know that no one can be that agreeable all the time, which could make them think you’re trying to manipulate them in some way.
4. You’ll feel pressured to maintain the pleasant image all the time
When you’re known for your kindness, there’s a temptation to keep up that reputation or “niceness” even when it might not feel genuine to do so.
This means that when you’re having a bad day and don’t feel like being extra friendly, you might end up forcing yourself to act a certain way just because that’s what people expect of you.
5. It could affect your mental state
Trying to maintain a nice, agreeable demeanor all the time can be stressful, especially if you’re trying too hard not to upset anyone. Overloading yourself with too many responsibilities or putting someone else’s needs before yours continuously can have a significant impact on your mental health.
6. You might be doing more harm than good
Sometimes, people don’t need you to be nice. They don’t want someone who’s trying to solve their problems for them or sugarcoat the truth. In some situations, brutal honesty may be what they require.
By always being “nice” and avoiding confrontation or telling someone how it is, you might be enabling negative behavior or not helping them in the long run.
7. People might not want to tell you things
When you’re too nice, people might assume they can’t give you bad news or reveal their true feelings, if said feelings are negative. They wouldn’t want to risk hurting you, so they might choose to stay silent or tell you what they think you want to hear.
Now, while this might not sound so terrible, would you really want to go through life being treated like a fragile little flower who can’t handle the truth?
8. Your niceness might not be deserved
Not everyone deserves your kindness. If someone’s treating you poorly or disrespectfully, being too nice to them could send the message that their behavior is okay, which it isn’t.
If someone can’t appreciate and respect us, then maybe they don’t deserve our continued effort in being kind towards them.
9. It’s not necessary
At the end of the day, overdoing it on the “niceness” just isn’t necessary. You don’t owe anyone your benevolence, only your respect where it’s due.
And honestly, no one really expects you to be super-friendly all the time anyway. Being genuine and true to yourself, while still being considerate of other people’s feelings, is what really makes a difference in building healthy relationships.
Final thought
Don’t get me wrong, niceness is essential in any society to foster good relationships with the people around us. However, there comes a point where our niceness crosses into negative territory.
By understanding the limits of being nice and balancing them with respect, we can build better connections without becoming walking doormats.