Why You Should Never Date A Broke Man
Most of us have heard the saying, “Love doesn’t pay the bills.” And try as we might to dip our toes into the fantastic waters of romanticizing struggle love, there’s a beacon of truth to it.
Now, let’s discard any notions that this is a superficial guide on gold digging, because it’s not. It’s about recognizing how financial instability can affect love’s journey. This is less “Cinderella” and more “Reality Check 101.”
So, if you’ve ever thought about dating a broke man or are currently playing tug-of-war with the idea, let’s dive together into the murky waters of love and money. We’re about to explore 19 eye-opening reasons why dating a financially unstable man might result in a thriller rather than a romance in your relationship movie.
It’s not that broke people aren’t deserving of love, but understanding the potential hardships and tensions it could bring into your love life is indeed worth considering!
Okay, cue the ominous music and let’s embark on this enlightening journey.
19 reasons why you shouldn’t date a broke guy
1. Financial stress
Ever tried to survive on love and air while your stomach growls at you like a neglected lion? Yeah, it’s not exactly romantic.
Financial stress in a relationship can feel like you’re on a flat tire with no spare or jack! And this isn’t the kind of stress that gets cured by a yoga session or a pint of ice cream. Dating a man who’s keeping his head just above water financially can churn up waves of tension that even an experienced swimmer finds difficult to surf.
2. Limited lifestyle
It’s time to rename Saturday fun-day as “we-can’t-afford-to-do-anything” day. Sure, exploring the city without spending a dime sounds lovely in theory, but one can only enjoy so many free museum exhibits before it gets dull.
Regular, everyday (read: monotonous) strolls in the park will replace beach vacations. You can also say goodbye to fancy dinners and say hello to candlelit canned soup for two!
3. Future planning
Trying to plan a future with someone financially unstable is like trying to build a house with one nail and a hamster wheel – impossible and quite weird.
Suddenly, the idea of marrying, buying a house, or having a rainbow of kids seems further away than Mars on a rusty spaceship. Things that can be achieved only with money like a white picket fence dream or saving for retirement suddenly seem unattainable.
4. Dependency
Dating a broke guy can often feel like you’re parenting an overgrown man-child. You’ll be footing the bill for everything, from dinner to damages — while they sit in the backseat of your ride through life.
This kind of dependency can lead to control issues, making your relationship feel more like a puppet show than a partnership.
5. Different goals
Having different income levels often means that you and your partner have different life priorities. For example, you might be focusing on career advancement and financial stability, while he could be living paycheck to paycheck.
This mismatch in goals could lead to a situation where you both feel as though you’re moving in different directions, which will inevitably strain the relationship.
6. Social pressure
Hate to break it to you, but even though we’re in the 21st century, social expectations and pressure are still a thing. That ‘broke life’ might not sit well with your friends, family or social circles.
When your guy can’t keep up with the Joneses, expect some raised eyebrows and harsh judgments. Be prepared for whispered inquiries about his financial situation at social gatherings.
7. Emotional strain
Being constantly bogged down by money issues can put a damper on the most ecstatic of personalities. If your partner is down in the financial dumps, they might not have the energy or spirit to build you up – leading to an emotionally lackluster love life.
8. Low self-esteem
A perpetual money struggle can deflate a person’s self-esteem quicker than a pin to a balloon. It’s tough feeling like a failure all the time – that can trickle into the relationship, turning it into a sad party where your broke beau’s the guest of (dis)honor. You’re left grappling with the constant downer vibes, which isn’t exactly an aphrodisiac, let me tell you.
Also, if he’s a real man, his pride will no doubt take a serious hit if you’re the one always footing the bill.
9. Lack of motivation
While this isn’t a universal truth, a lack of financial stability can sometimes signal a lack of motivation or ambition. If your dude is perpetually broke but shows no signs of wanting to change the situation, it’s going to start to feel like you’re dating a glorified couch potato.
Motivation and ambition are sexy. Lack of them… not so much.
10. Opportunity cost
Choosing to lock lips with your broke beau over a potentially more financially stable suitor could mean you’re missing out on some serious life upgrades. Imagine turning down a chance with Mr. Responsible (who knows his way around a 401k) for Mr. Penniless (who doesn’t have 2 nickels to rub together).
Potential fling with a partner who can actually plan and save up for your dream vacation? Perish the thought! You get the point – opportunity cost is just another fancy term for all the better relationships that could have been.
11. Conflict over spending
Surprisingly, money is the root of most arguments in relationships. If your partner’s idea of retail therapy is raiding the neighborhood dumpster while you yearn for Gucci, you might end up arguing more than lovebirds should.
He’ll likely view your desire for nice things as an egregious affront to his frugal lifestyle. Suddenly, your love for a nice pair of stilettos will be on trial, and your partner, the self-appointed judge, jury and executioner, will quickly deliver the guilty verdict armed with the “unnecessary expenses” argument.
12. Resentment
Carrying the financial load of a relationship can make you grumpy and resentful, especially as your partner remains stagnant in both love and labor.
It could also, believe it or not, make your penniless fella resentful towards you. Yes, you heard that right! Even though you’re the one coughing up the cash, your financially challenged beau could feel trapped, small, or even emasculated. He might start despising your ability to afford things without a second thought.
This happens way more than you think, especially with petty men. Just saying.
13. Social life limitations
Dating a penniless prince can put a spanner in the works of your social life. The inability to dine out, hit the bars or even vacation with friends due to monetary constraints can leave you feeling socially stranded and isolated.
You might have to get used to a lot of alone time or frugal group activities that don’t require digging deep into your pockets.
14. Role reversal
Brace yourself for some role reversal: You’re now the official sugar mama, covering all expenses. And it’s not that pay equality isn’t cool, it just becomes a bummer when the rule is “you pay all the time”.
And if you have old school values where men are supposed to foot the bills, strap in because you’re in for a bumpy ride. You’ve now become the de facto breadwinner, the provider, the one always reaching for the wallet at the end of the dinner date.
This might be a real problem for a woman who wants to, as the young folks put it, “rest in her femininity”, avoiding masculine actions.
15. Career impact
Constantly worrying about your partner’s spending could distract you from your own career growth. You may find yourself so entangled in their mess that you begin to sacrifice your own ambitions.
16. Shared debt
Oh boy, now we’re talking about the big, scary D-word – debt! When your love flame is financially flimsy, one of the major pitfalls is that any debt they’ve accumulated starts to glare at you like an out-of-order neon sign.
If you decide to merge your finances, that heap of unpaid bills and loans isn’t just on their credit report — it’s on yours too. A shared financial burden could feel like an anchor tied to your ankle, slowing down your journey to a stable and comfortable lifestyle.
17. Generational impact
Think about your potential future children. If your partner is financially unstable, this can directly impact your children’s future. It’s not just about the immediate access to opportunities and resources, but also about the long-term effects.
Financial instability can hinder your child’s chances for higher education, quality healthcare, and even a secure and comfortable lifestyle.
Generational wealth is a thing, you know! And you won’t be creating it with someone whose pockets are empty, my friend.
18. Potential manipulation
When one person relies on the other financially in a relationship, there’s always the potential for some nasty power play. It could come in the form of guilt trips, unreasonable demands, or — hold your breath — emotional manipulation! This can turn your lover from a sweetheart into a freeloading puppeteer, pulling your financial strings in ways you never saw coming.
And the reverse is also true. You could find yourself using your wealth as leverage, unintentionally causing more friction. Money can become a tool of control within the relationship, leading to a drama-filled love story you definitely didn’t sign up for.
19. He’s more likely to cheat
Okay, so this one might be a bit of a stretch and not scientifically proven, but let’s just entertain the idea. Some say when a man feels like he’s not providing in one area, he might try to overcompensate by proving his ‘worth’ elsewhere.
He may convert his feelings of inadequacy into seeking validation from other people (and I don’t mean in the form of a group hug). We’re talking about the dark underbelly of relationships – the game of cheating.
The thought runs like this: if I can’t provide in the financial department, perhaps I can show off my stud status instead. It happens.
Final word
What can I say? It’s best to look for both love and financial stability in your relationship. Call me old-fashioned, but you want a partner who brings more to the table than just a fork.
Love might make the world go round, but money does a pretty good job of spinning the wheels too. So, think of it this way: love nourishes the heart, but it’s a stable income that nourishes pretty much everything else.