Why You Should Never Get Married
All day long we hear about how getting married is the best thing that any couple could ever do. It’s true, getting married is great for some people, and the benefits are numerous.
But you didn’t come here for those, did you?
The reality is that getting married isn’t always sunshine and roses, and a good chunk of the population is actually better off avoiding it altogether. Wanna know if you fall into that category? Read on to learn some of the reasons why getting married is a terrible idea.
12 reasons why you shouldn’t get married
1. Weddings are expensive
Before you’ve even settled into married life, there’s the big day to pay for. And weddings are expensive. According to The Knot, the average cost of a wedding in the US is $28,000.
That’s a lot of money to blow on one day, especially when you could be using it to buy a house or save for retirement.
2. It’s a life-long commitment
When you get married, you’re making a commitment to spend the rest of your life with that person. And let’s be honest, not all relationships are meant to last forever.
If you’re not entirely sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with your partner, getting married is probably not the right move.
3. You have to share everything
Marriage means sharing everything with your partner, including your finances. This won’t simply be an agreement between spouses, it will usually have legal implications as well. That can be a big adjustment, especially if you’re used to being independent.
On the surface, a “what’s yours is mine” attitude towards finances may seem romantic. But in reality, it can cause a lot of tension and arguments if both spouses are not on the same page.
And this shared existence thing also extends to debt. If your spouse has a lot of debt, you may be on the hook for it if you live in a community property state.
4. You might have to compromise on your dreams
When you’re married, you’re not just living for yourself anymore. You have to take your partner’s needs and wishes into consideration as well, which means that you might have to make some compromises.
If you have your heart set on a particular lifestyle or career path, getting married could mean giving all of that up.
5. Marriage changes people
It’s no secret that people change over time, but marriage can speed up the process. And not always in a good way.
People often change once they get married, and oftentimes not for the better. They might become more controlling, jealous, or even abusive, showing sides of themselves that you never saw before.
Of course, not everyone changes for the worse when they get married. But it’s something to be aware of nonetheless.
6. More will be expected of you
As a married person, you’ll be expected to do more than you ever were before. Being a husband or wife comes with a set of new responsibilities that simply didn’t exist while you were merely dating.
For example, if you’re a husband, you’ll be expected to protect and provide for your wife. If you’re a wife, you’ll be expected to support and care for your husband and the family as a whole. These are just some of the new expectations that come with marriage.
If the idea of increased responsibility makes you come up in hives, then getting married is probably not the right move for you.
7. You might have to change your surname
If you’re a woman, getting married usually means changing your surname to your husband’s. That can be a big deal for some women, especially if they’re established in their careers with a recognizable name.
Changing your name can also be a hassle, requiring you to change your passport, driver’s license, and other official documents. It’s not something to be taken lightly.
8. You might gain weight
According to a study by Healthline, on average, women gain roughly 24 pounds within the first 5 years of marriage. Married men gain weight too, but not quite as much as women.
There are a number of possible explanations for this phenomenon, including increased stress levels, less time to exercise, and changes in diet. But whatever the reason, it’s something to be aware of if you’re thinking about getting married.
9. You’ll officially be off the market
Nothing screams “off the market” quite like a wedding ring. Once you’re married, it’s assumed that you’re no longer interested in dating or finding a partner. This usually means that you’ll get less attention from possible paramours, which can be a good or bad thing, depending on your point of view.
What’s more, if you’re not sure the person you married is The One, then being married will make it difficult to potentially find the person you’re actually meant to be with. Anyone who might be interested in you will be scared away by the fact that you’re already legally taken.
10. You’ll have in-laws
Not terrible in and of itself, but definitely worth mentioning. Getting married means that you’ll not only have a husband or wife but also in-laws. And while some in-laws are perfectly lovely, others can be downright horrible.
Your in-laws might try to intrude on your relationship, give unsolicited advice, or make your life generally miserable if they don’t like you. Yes, they could also do this if you’re merely dating their son or daughter, but it’s more likely to happen if you’re married, as you’ll be seen as a more permanent fixture in their child’s life.
11. There’s a high chance you’ll get divorced
Sadly, the statistics on marriage are not very encouraging. Roughly 50% of all marriages end in divorce, so there’s a pretty good chance that your marriage won’t last, no matter how happy you and your partner are at the moment.
12. Divorce is messy and expensive
Which brings us to our final point: if you do get divorced, it’s going to cost a lot and be pretty messy. Not to mention emotionally devastating.
Divorce is notoriously complicated, especially if there are children or large sums of money involved. And even if you’re able to come to an amicable agreement with your ex-spouse, the process of untangling your lives can take a long time.
You might have to sell your house, divide up your possessions, and change your lifestyle in a number of ways. And outside of the financial burden of divorce, there’s the emotional toll and social stigma to contend with as well.
Conclusion
Deciding to tie the knot is a big decision and one that you need to consider very carefully before taking the plunge. There are a lot of things to think about, and plenty of potential pitfalls that you need to prepare yourself for.
Don’t get married for the wrong reasons, get married because it makes sense for you and your partner and because you’re both truly ready for the commitment.