Why You Should Never Tell A Woman To Calm Down

Some men might think that telling a woman to calm down is a way of defusing a situation. Those are relatively innocuous words, right? No one in their right mind would get too upset over that, right?

Wrong!

Telling a woman to calm down is pretty much the worst thing you can say in almost any situation, especially if you’re a man. It doesn’t matter if she’s irrational, emotional, or even justifiably angry – telling her to calm down will only make things worse.

Let’s look at some of the reasons why.

7 reasons why you shouldn’t tell a woman to calm down

1. It invalidates her feelings

When you tell a woman to calm down, you’re essentially telling her that her feelings are invalid. This might not be your intention, but that’s the way she’ll take it, and it won’t sit well with her. In most cases, it’s likely to make things worse instead of better.

2. It makes you look like you don’t care

When you tell a woman to calm down, it gives off the impression that you don’t really care about her feelings or what she’s going through. This might not be how you feel, but it’s how it comes across.

3. It puts you in a position of power

Telling a woman to calm down implies that you’re in a position of power over her because you’re telling her what she should or shouldn’t be feeling. This is likely to make her feel even more upset, and it’s not a good way to defuse a situation.

4. It makes you sound patronizing

When you tell a woman to calm down, it can come across as condescending. It’s as if you’re telling her that she can’t handle the situation and that she needs to take a step back and calm down, while you, the almighty man, are in control.

5. It’s sexist

Let’s face it – men telling women to calm down is just a tad bit sexist. It implies that women are inherently more emotional than men and that they can’t handle difficult situations without losing their cool. This is clearly not true, but it’s a common stereotype and one that you’re likely to reinforce if you tell a woman to calm down.

6. You’re going to make her angrier

If a woman is angry, telling her to calm down is only going to make her angrier. It’s the equivalent of telling someone who’s crying to stop crying – it’s not going to happen, and it’s only going to make things worse.

7. It’s just not helpful

At the end of the day, telling a woman to calm down is just not helpful. This isn’t going to improve the situation or make her suddenly do as you say. In fact, it’s likely to do the exact opposite. Your words are essentially meaningless and empty to her.

She knows she’s losing her cool, and she knows she should calm down. What she doesn’t need is you telling her what she already knows.

So what should you say to her instead?

Here are some suggestions:

• “Can you tell me what’s wrong?”
• “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
• “Is there anything I can do to help?”
• “Do you want to talk about what’s going on?”
• “I’m here for you if you need to talk.”

These are all much more helpful and productive than telling a woman to calm down. They show that you care about her and that you want to help, something she’ll appreciate far more than empty words.

So next time you’re tempted to tell a woman to calm down, think twice. Choose your words carefully, and try to be as supportive as possible. She’ll respect you for it, and you’ll probably defuse the situation more effectively in the long run.