Why You Should Never Apologize
You’ve probably been taught that you should always apologize when you do something wrong. You might even have heard the common saying “an apology costs nothing.”
But this isn’t always the case. Apologizing can be counterproductive when you apologize to the wrong person, at the wrong time, or for the wrong reason. There are many instances when apologizing only makes a bad situation worse.
Here are 7 reasons why you shouldn’t apologize (unless your life depends on it).
1. It could be a sign of weakness
You might think that knowing when to apologize, and being able to do so, takes courage and strength. Your parents, no doubt, told you this. But actually, a person who is too quick to apologize without fighting their case isn’t seen as strong, but weak.
An apology is usually the easy way out, a way to appease someone. If you’re not prepared to fight, especially when you’re in the right, and you resort to apologizing, you’ll be seen as cowardly to most people around you.
2. It could be costly
There are times when apologizing could cost you dearly, because the mere act of apologizing is an admission of guilt.
In a court of law, this could be used against you in tort cases where things like negligence are concerned. This is why doctors are loath to admit their wrongdoing, because it would open them up to lawsuits.
3. The real guilty party is let off the hook
Sometimes it might seem easier to just apologize and get on with your life, despite you not being responsible for the folly or crime. And while life may resume as normal, by apologizing, you’ve allowed the guilty person to go unpunished.
How will anyone learn from their mistakes if you cover for them and take the blame? This is why you should never apologize when you’ve done nothing wrong.
Also, taking the fall for someone else could negatively affect the way others see or treat you.
4. It’s sometimes a mechanism to avoid necessary conflict
If you’re arguing and have legitimate reasons to air your grievances, but you’re afraid of losing a friend or family member by speaking your mind, then apologizing can be an easy way out.
This is not the way to live your life, however. Sometimes, conflict is necessary, and sometimes people need to be challenged. If you’re constantly backing down and apologizing in order to ease tensions, how will anyone know you have a problem, or that they’re in the wrong?
5. An apology won’t reverse what you’ve done
While it may feel therapeutic to apologize from time to time, at the end of the day it’s only words, and by saying “I’m sorry”, you can’t undo what you’ve done wrong, so what’s the point?
6. It could be a way of avoiding taking action
Often, people use their apologies as a means of getting out of fixing their mistakes. Apologies are cheap, and thus can be easily handed out. Putting in real work and taking real action, on the other hand, takes courage.
You’re better off trying to rectify the situation, not with words but with actions.
7. It might not be accepted
There are times when, no matter how heartfelt your apology is, it just won’t be accepted. You may have screwed up so severely that your words are meaningless.
Being told that your apology isn’t accepted can be a devastating blow, especially when you’ve put a lot of heart and effort into it. So why put yourself through that? Why risk giving an apology that might be rejected? You’ll only end up feeling worse than you did before giving it.
You have to judge every situation and determine whether you should apologize or not, but dish those bad boys out sparingly. Remember that if you do it too often the words begin to lose meaning.
That’s why it’s always better to try to remedy the situation as best you can, as this will show your remorse better than those empty words ever could.