Why You Should Never Block Your Ex
This scenario is all too familiar, I’m sure: you’ve just gone through a breakup. It feels like your heart has been wrenched from your chest, stomped on, and then unceremoniously shoved back in. You’ve got the urge to block your ex – from your phone, from social media, heck, from every aspect of your life. Who needs that constant reminder of a relationship that didn’t pan out, right?
Look, there might be times when blocking an ex is necessary. For instance, if the relationship was abusive or toxic, or if your ex is harassing you and infringing on your personal peace, blocking them is not only advised, it’s critical for your well-being. The priority, after all, is your emotional health and safety.
However, if your breakup was the typical garden-variety type where things just didn’t work out, and there’s no threat to your mental or physical peace, consider these reasons why you might want to leave that bridge unburned.
10 reasons why you shouldn’t block your ex
1. You grow from discomfort
Breakups are the emotional equivalent of a punch in the gut. No one’s denying that. But it’s also an opportunity to build emotional resilience. As uncomfortable as it is to see or hear about your ex moving on, it’s a clear sign that life does indeed go on. It’s a bit of tough love, sure, but it can propel you into your own healing and growth.
2. Shared circles and memories
Your relationship might have been between two people, but it existed within a broader context of shared friends, family, and memories. Blocking your ex might put undue strain on these shared relationships and create unnecessary drama. Leaving the lines of communication open allows for smoother navigation through these shared connections.
3. This world is smaller than you think
Six degrees of separation? More like six degrees of complication! You never know where future opportunities might come from – a job, a friend, or even a new love interest. Keeping the door open to your past could surprisingly pave the way for your future.
4. Dodging rash decisions
Blocking someone is a pretty definitive action, often taken when emotions are riding high. With time, emotions fade, and perspective shifts, and you might find yourself regretting that impulsive decision. Keeping the lines open means you’re allowing yourself the space to make rational decisions.
5. Sign of emotional maturity
It takes a bucket-load of emotional strength to manage a breakup without digital retaliation. Keeping that connection open shows a level of emotional maturity, signaling to yourself and others that you can handle difficult situations with grace.
6. The road to acceptance
After a breakup, it’s natural to feel a whirlpool of emotions. But avoidance doesn’t lead to acceptance. Being able to see or hear about your ex without spiraling into an emotional abyss is a significant step towards acceptance and healing.
7. A self-control exercise
Let’s not kid ourselves. The temptation to check on your ex, if the option is available, is like an itch that just needs scratching. But here’s the upside – it’s a test of self-control. Over time, you’ll find the urge to snoop getting weaker, which signifies a detachment and a step forward in the healing process.
8. A friendly reminder of why it ended
Not to sound bitter, but seeing or hearing about your ex might just reaffirm why you split up in the first place. Their constant need to be right, their overbearing mother, or their refusal to pick their clothes off the floor. A gentle nudge to remind you that you’re better off.
9. They might need to contact you for a valid reason
Life is unpredictable. There may be practical matters that your ex needs to discuss with you post-breakup. Shared assets, mutual financial obligations, or simply returning belongings.
Blocking all contact could complicate these logistical issues. It’s better to leave an open line for these sorts of practicalities. If they abuse this privilege, well, you can always reconsider the blocking option.
10. You could hurt their feelings
Empathy isn’t just for current partners, it extends to exes too. The act of blocking someone can send a powerful message, one that screams “I don’t want you in my life in any capacity.” This can be deeply hurtful, especially if your ex is still nursing feelings for you. It’s a type of hurt you can’t really take back.
While you should prioritize your own emotional well-being, being considerate of their feelings is a sign of maturity and compassion.
Final thought
Pause right there, heartbreak warrior. It might feel like that ‘block’ button is calling your name, but give it a moment. It’s not a quick fix or a magic eraser, but a tool that should be used with care and thoughtfulness. Keep in mind, not hitting block doesn’t make you any less fabulous. It might just prove you’re the bigger person, sailing away with your head held high.
So, before you think about declaring a total blackout, take a beat. Have a slice of pizza, a dollop of ice cream, or whatever your comfort food is. Breakups, just like midnight snack attacks, can be quite revealing about ourselves. You might discover an untapped reservoir of strength or, quite possibly, a new obsession with salted caramel truffle ice cream.
No matter what, growth is the name of the game, and guess what? You’re winning.