Why You Should Never Live Together Before Marriage
Living together before marriage seems like a great idea. You get to test out the relationship, see if you’re compatible, and save a ton of money on rent!
But is it really all it’s cracked up to be, or could it be damaging to your relationship? We did some digging and here are a few reasons why you might want to hold off on cohabitation.
8 reasons why you shouldn’t live together before marriage
1. It could lead to increased fighting and resentment
When you live together, you’re bound to have disagreements and arguments. But when you’re married, there’s an added layer of commitment and responsibility that can help keep those arguments in check.
If you’re simply cohabiting, you’re less likely to work through your differences, as it’s easier to simply walk away from the situation. But when you’re married, you’re more likely to stick it out and work through the rough patches.
2. You might think it’s pointless to get married
Think of it this way: you’re already living together, sharing your lives and your expenses, so what would be the point of adding something as complicated as marriage into the mix?
This is how a lot of couples end up in what’s known as a “marriage-like” relationship, where they might as well be married but without the official title or commitment. This can be problematic if you’re not on the same page about your future together.
3. You’ll be giving all the benefits without the title
There’s an old saying that goes, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” When you live together without being married, that’s essentially what you’re doing.
Your partner will be reaping all the benefits of marriage (companionship, shared expenses, sex, etc.) without having to actually make the commitment. This can lead to feelings of being taken advantage of or used, which is not a good foundation for a healthy relationship.
4. People might judge you
While this shouldn’t be a reason to make any major life decision, it’s worth considering how living together before marriage will be perceived by friends, family, and society in general.
There’s still a stigma attached to couples who live together before tying the knot, and you might find yourself on the receiving end of some judgment. Of course, this all depends on your social circle and community, but it’s something to think about.
5. You don’t truly know someone until you marry them
Living with someone is a great way to really get to know them, there’s no doubt about that. However, you still won’t see their true colors until they become your spouse, as the relationship almost always changes after marriage.
So, just because you get along great while living together, doesn’t mean that will continue once you’re married. Thus, you could decide to marry someone based on their “cohabiting representative” rather than who they really are.
6. You might get too comfortable
Living together before marriage can create a false sense of comfort, as you start to feel like you’re already married. This can lead to complacency in the relationship, and you might find yourselves taking each other for granted.
7. You’re “living in sin”
Okay, not quite, but depending on your religious beliefs, if you have any, living together before marriage can be seen as a sin. This is because you’re more than likely engaging in premarital sex, which is forbidden in some religions.
If you don’t subscribe to any particular religion, this probably won’t be an issue for you. But if you do, it’s something to consider before making your decision.
8. Cohabiting raises the risk of divorce
According to Psychology Today, studies have shown that couples who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who don’t. There are a few theories as to why this is, but one possibility is that cohabiting can create unrealistic expectations about marriage.
When you live together before tying the knot, you might get used to a certain lifestyle or way of doing things. But when you’re married, your partner might not meet those expectations, leading to disappointment and eventually divorce.
Conclusion
Couples who choose to live together before marriage often do so with the best of intentions—but unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out.
If you’re considering taking the plunge and moving in with your partner before tying the knot, make sure you weigh all of the pros and cons first.
And above all else, listen to your gut! If something feels off or wrong about living together before marriage, trust your instincts and don’t do it!