Why You Should Never Make Promises
Making promises is easy. Keeping them is hard. In fact, it’s often impossible.
We make promises all the time. To ourselves, to our loved ones, to our friends, colleagues, and business partners. And we do it for all sorts of reasons.
Sometimes we make promises because we’re trying to keep ourselves accountable. We think that if we commit to doing something, we’ll be more likely to follow through.
Other times, we make promises because we want to show other people that we’re reliable and trustworthy. We think that if we can keep our word, they’ll be more likely to trust us.
Unfortunately, though, making promises doesn’t always lead to the desired outcome, which is why it’s probably best to steer clear of doing so. In this article, we’ll take a look at some of the reasons why making promises is a bad idea.
9 reasons why you shouldn’t make promises
1. You might not be able to keep them
Most people are well-intentioned when they make promises. They truly believe that they’ll be able to keep them. But all too often, life gets in the way and before you know it, you’ve broken your promise.
2. You’ll set yourself up for disappointment
Whether it’s a promise to yourself or someone else, if you break a promise, you’ll feel a whole bunch of guilt and disappointment. So, why set yourself up for failure? Just don’t make the promise in the first place.
3. People will stop taking your promises seriously
If you’re constantly making promises and not keeping them, your friends and family will start to catch on. Eventually, they’ll stop taking your promises seriously. And who can blame them?
If you can’t be trusted to keep your word, why would anyone believe anything you say? Promises are only as good as the person who makes them, so if you want people to take your promises seriously, you need to be a person of your word.
4. You’ll miss out because you’re too busy trying to keep your promises
Trying to keep a promise can often be more time-consuming and difficult than we anticipate. As a result, we miss out on other opportunities because we’re too busy trying to keep our word.
For example, let’s say you make a promise to your boss that you’ll have a project done by the end of the week. But then, you get sidetracked and end up working on it until the wee hours of the morning for several days in a row. As a result, you might miss an important family event or some other exciting opportunity.
5. You might end up resenting the person you made the promise to
There’s a very real possibility that you’ll start to resent the person you made the promise to, especially if you find yourself going above and beyond to try to keep it.
It’s not fair to put that kind of pressure on yourself or the other person, but that will happen if you’re desperately trying to be a person of your word and not break your promises.
6. Your promise might be empty, and thus damaging
Making empty promises is just as bad, if not worse, than making promises you can’t keep. If you make a promise that you know you won’t be able to keep, or that you have no intention of keeping, it’s not only dishonest, but it’s also damaging to your relationship with the other person.
It would be much better to simply not make the promise at all, rather than making a false promise that will only end up hurting someone.
7. Some promises won’t be in your best interests
There will be some promises that you shouldn’t make, even if you think you can keep them.
You might be tempted to make that promise – even though you know it’s irrational and not in your best interests – because you think it will make someone else happy. But eventually, that promise is going to backfire and cause all sorts of problems.
Thus, it’s better to address whatever issues you have with the request as opposed to simply making a promise that you’ll end up regretting later.
8. You could end up hurting yourself
In our efforts to keep our promises, we often put ourselves in situations where we’re likely to get hurt, either physically or mentally.
For example, someone might promise to do something that’s outside of their comfort zone or beyond their capabilities. Or, they might make a rash decision to keep a promise, without thinking about the consequences.
Either way, you’ll be tempted to put yourself in harm’s way just to keep a promise, which isn’t worth it.
9. Keeping promises is a real slog
Trying to keep a promise can often feel like a real slog. After all, you’re essentially putting yourself on a leash and making yourself do something that you might not necessarily want to do.
Conclusion
Never make promises! Just kidding… sort of.
We know that it’s not always possible to avoid making promises, but it is possible to be more mindful about the promises we do make. We should only make promises that we know we can keep and that we’re truly committed to keeping.
When we make thoughtless or empty promises, we’re not only damaging our relationships, but we’re also damaging our integrity. So, the next time you’re tempted to make a promise, think long and hard about it first.
